Qara' leb `ataph

This was for our Filipino13 talumpati

Dugong dumadaloy sa aking mga ugat. Pintig ng puso sa aking dibdib. Paghinga’y tila ba sumasabay sa bawat yapak ko. Ako nga ay buhay! Buhay para tumawa. Buhay para umiyak. Buhay para umibig. Buhay para mangarap. At higit sa lahat, buhay para sambahin ang Panginoon. Sambahin siya na lumikha sa akin. Siya na nagbibigay buhay. Buhay nga ako at kay gusto kung mabuhay para sa Maykapal.
Pero bakit may dugo? Bakit nangangamoy sangsang ng kamatayan? Bakit may mga buhay na nasasayang? Bakit sinasayang at kinukuha nila ang kanilang sariling mga buhay? Kay laki ba ng problema mo kaibigan? Sino ba ang nanakit sa iyo? Sino ang nang-api? O kaibigan, alam kung mahirap mabuhay sa mundo, pero lahat naman tayo ay nahihirapan; hindi lang ako, hindi lamang ikaw, kung hindi ang lahat ng may hininga. Merong hindi makabayad ng utang, may mga iniwan at namatayan, marong walang mauwian, may walang makain, may hindi makapagsalita, hindi makakita, hindi makarinig, may namamatay na dahil sa malubhang sakit, may hindi makakilos pa dahil sa pagdurusa. Pero lahat sila, nangangarap na tumawa, nangangarap na maging masaya, kahit na nga ba’y tila wala ng araw na sumisikat sa kanilang ulap. Kaibigan, mahirap mabuhay, at may iba’t-ibang dahilan tayo kung bakit gusto na ating sumuko. Pwedeng katulad sa mga nabanggit o kaya’y katulad ng dahilan ko. Kaibigan, ano ang dahilan mo?
Nakasulat sa Bibliya na ang katawan ng tao ay templo ng Dios. Parati ko itong naririnig galing kung kahit kani-kanino lamang. Masakit mang aminin, ay oo, hindi sa atin ang ating buhay. Hiram lamang ito. Sa mga kamay ng Maykapal ay tayo hinugis. Siya ang dahilan at may pakana sa lahat ng mga nangyari, nangyayari, at mangyayari pa lamang sa atin. Kilalang-kilala niya tayo at alam niya kung ano ang mga kailangan at mga gusto natin. Hindi ba kayo namamangya sa katotohanan na ang lumikha ng kalawakan at ang nagbigay ng buhay sa lahat ng nilalang ay kilala tayo, pati ang bilang ng buhok sa ating ulo ay kabisadong-kabisado niya. Alam niya kung kailan tayo matutumba at lagi niya tayong itatayo kung iaabot lamang natin ang ating mga kamay. Ang pag-ibig niya para sa atin ay higit pa sa kahit kanino. Ganyan tayo kahalaga sa Panginoon. Sa kanyang kamay tao unang huminga kaya sa kanyang kamay din nakasalalay kung kailan ang ating huling hininga. Wala tayong karapatan, kaibigan. Tayo ba ang Dios? Hindi! Ihalintulad sa kaniya ay mga ood lang tayo, mga walang kuwentang nilalang na walang karapatan sa kahit ano. Oo, binigyan nga niya tayo ng kakahayang pumili, pero sa palagay mo, kaibigan, matutuwa ang Dios kung susuwayin natin siya? Sa palagay mo tatawa siya sa tuwing may isang taong sinasayang lamang ang kanyang buhay? Ang katotohanan, pumapatak ang mga luha ng Dios para sa mga nasasaktan. Binigyan ka niya ng buhay hindi para sayangin ito kundi para maging masaya ka at para gamitin mo ito upang sambahin mo siya. Kailan man, hindi nasosolusyunan ang problema ng isa pang problema, lalung-lalo na ang pagpapakamatay.
Walang problemang napakalaki. Walang probemang hindi nalulutas. Gaya ng bawat bugtong ay may sagot, o ang gabi ay sinusundan ng araw. Merong liwanag pagkatapos ng dilim. Kung lalakad ka lamang ng tuwid at manalangin, tiyak mararating mo rin ang liwanag. At parati mong pakatandaan, ang Dios ay nasa tabi mo lang. Mahal na mahal ka niya at hinding-hindi ka niya iiwan at pababayaan. Sa lahat ng kulog, lindol, at ulan na darating sa buhay mo, tawagin mo lang siya at andiyan siya para sa iyo. kung pakiramdam mo’y gumuguho na ang lahat, higpitan mo ang paghawak sa Dios at hindi sa mga problema. Ang dugo’t hininga mo ay napakahalaga para lang isabay sa mga walang kuwentang luha at sakit. Magtiwala ka lang sa Dios, kaibigan, siya lamang ang solusyon. Siya lamang ang ating ligaya.

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I had this weird dream. In my dream I was in a very bright place. It was strange, because it filled me with peace. Suddenly walls started building up around me and I found out that I was wearing a wedding gown and my groom stood before me. The sight of him made my heart joyful. His eyes were filled with love as if the mere sight of me was his delight. At that moment I felt that as long as I’m with him I don’t need to worry, that I was secure and well. I don’t need anything else. I knew that I belong to him.

The scenery changed and the next thing I knew, I was in a very empty and dry place. I was lost! I don’t remember anything. I couldn’t remember anyone, who I am, or where I was from. All I knew was that someone was probably looking for me and is very worried about me.

The scenery changed again. I was in a very big mansion and all the people I knew were there. Everyone was so surprised and happy that I came back. They told me I was gone for months. (Yes, I know I have a weird dream!) They told me that my lover was waiting for me all those time and that he was worried. They told me that I should surprise him. For it was after all his birthday. Every time he would come around where I was hiding, my friends would try to distract him so that I could hide some place else.

Evening came, I watched as my lover would pass by where I was hiding. Maybe it was that long. For the eyes that I remember that was filled with joy and love were now filled with sadness and worry. I watched as he and some of my dear friends went down stairs into the pool area (?). Then my lover suddenly went away. My friends mouthed words to me from downstairs. As if they were asking me if I’m okay. But when I replied, I replied a bit too loud that my voice echoed. I knew that I was going to be busted so I vainly tried to hide. I heard footsteps from downstairs. It was obvious that he really did hear me. Then my eyes met his eyes. The eyes that were filled with sadness were now filled with gladness again. His face shone as if wanting to say, “I know that voice. I know you.” I smiled at him. I didn’t know what to do. I can’t do anything else about it. He quickly ran up the stairs to me. He stood in front of me as if he couldn’t believe that I was finally home, that I finally came to him.

I ran to him and embrace him. The feeling of security was there again. I tried to tell what happened but he just told me that it didn’t matter anymore, that my past doesn’t matter. He said, “What matters is here and now and that we are together.”

Then my alarm rang and I woke up.

My dream has a very special meaning. Care to guess?

hint: For sure my lover is not just an “ordinary” man.

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