The Prayer of the Shattered

| at 10:44 PM



Setting:
Inside an easy ride
A drive to Dumaguete
After the Beach Fellowship in Dauin
6:00 PM

The humid wind blows against my face, the afternoon’s orange hues had already turned to the evening’s greys and blues. I could still feel the sand stuck between my toes as I quietly watched the trees and houses that we passed by. The van wasn’t that spacious but I felt like I was all alone, alone as a million of thoughts dance inside my mind with every churning of complicated yet futile emotions I have. And all I could really wish for is to just reach home and separate myself from the rest of the world. To separate myself from this world that has been making me restless and jaded even at the very moment I wake up.

I am fed up already and there is no more zeal in my spirit. I find no reason to smile at all but to just be presentable, the very least. I am dejected and crestfallen but there is none to stay with me; the people who once offer me there company have left an empty seat. Some offer me words that a tampered with sweetness and their so-called-love. And yet that’s all that really is—words. All there is are things that are spoken but never things that are done.

Everything doesn’t make sense and everything is hard for me to understand. Things that used to be trivial are now things that taunt me everyday. Perhaps I asked for it but I now wish to take it back. But I know that these You do for a reason, but I just want You to know that it hurts and it feels all so unfair.

God, I need You so dearly and I need You to speak loud. Though I open Your word it doesn’t come alive. Please, speak to me like You would speak to a child. For I am hungry, I am thirsty, and I long for Your loving embrace. I admit I am unwell and my heart is not with You. I see myself in a dark room with a light that is dying out. I wait for You to come and I know that You will. But to day I am sick and I need my healer. Yes, I am in a valley, but I know that someday, You’ll carry me back to the height which I have fallen from.

I know these are just word but I know that You hear and You see my heart, sees it more than anyone could ever see. So God take me by the hand. God, I pray, please wash me clean and make me anew. Bring me back to life and take a hold of my heart once again.

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Goodbye Stranger

| at 10:44 PM


Goodbye Stranger




So when was the last time you said hello?
When you offered me that smile I used to love?
‘Cause right now all that’s left are memories.
And everything else tastes just so bitter.
As bitter as that unkind stare that you just gave me.

Perhaps it all went away with the wind.
And I don’t know how this came to be.
The once so warm friendship that we shared;
Can now be only found in frozen photographs.
And sadly you weren’t even smiling there.

Did I do something to make you hate me?
I wish that you would tell me what’s wrong;
So that I could try to make things right for you.
‘Cause how could I say sorry and “forgive me;”
If I don’t even know what I’m sorry for?

But didn’t I hear you apologize?
Shouldn’t everything be okay by now?
Was it for real or was it just so you could sleep that night?
Was it really “sorry?”
Or did you really mean “goodbye?”

So why don’t you try to face me and look me in the eye.
Why don’t you just tell me that you want me out,
Instead of hiding like a kid?
And I’m getting tired of waiting for you to be okay.
Why don’t we try maturity once in a while?

But I guess you don’t have to say anything.
Your actions screams louder that your silence.
You can’t even stand to hear my voice for a minute.
So why don’t you just walk away like you always do.
‘Cause I’m sick of being sad when you’re showing me you’re not.

But please hear me out when I tell you that I’m sorry and I thank you.
I’m sorry for all the hurts and thank you for the friendship.
I wish that you’d be happy wherever God places you.
I know that we’re still both young and we’ll see people come and go.
But I hope we’d learn to cherish every person that does stay.

But I do wish that everything doesn’t end this way.
“Cause it feels just like yesterday when we were just strangers.
And today it’s breaking me that we’re strangers once again.
It’s funny how a friend’s hello turns to a stranger’s goodbye.
So perhaps we’ll go on our separate ways.

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